Resting and Remembering

Yes, the silence has been long on the blog front.  The last few months have been intense, rich, traumatic, painful, filled with mercy and sweetened by grace, and now quiet.  A quiet that is healing, resting, --especially resting.  Resting on The Rock, sitting on It, lying on It, sometimes climbing down into the Cleft where I can especially hear the heartbeat of my Abba.  

My earthly father always loved the hymns of the faith, rich as they are both musically and lyrically, saturated in eternal truths that set our compasses aright and turn our hearts back in the right direction.  I also love the hymns, learned even before I could read by hearing them sung in my father's strong tenor, and feeling them sung as my cheek rested against his arm as he sang.  So it was with so much that I learned of God the Father, and of Jesus my faithful High Priest and Servant-King; the truth about them passed to me through the voice and life of my father, who was a more faithful representative than anyone I have ever known.  

Three weeks ago today, this noble man was caught up "in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye", not by the last trumpet, but in a tragic head-on collision from which there was no escape.  I feel compelled to tell this story, to share the loss and the pain, and the graces, the lovingkindnesses, the goodness and mercies that have surely followed all of us, and have lined even the path through the valley of the shadow of death.

But in this writing, I first set my compass as I remember, from deep down in the Cleft, the words of a hymn I learned so long ago I had nearly forgotten it:

"When I survey the wondrous cross

On which the Prince of glory died,

My greatest gain I count but loss

And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast, 

Save in the death of Christ my Lord.

All the vain things that charm me most,

I sacrifice them to His blood.

See, from His head, His hands, His feet,

Sorrow and love flow mingled down;

Did e'er such love and sorrow meet,

Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,

That were a present far too small;

Love so amazing so divine

Demands my soul, my life, my all."

(Isaac Watts, 1707)

"Selah". . .

And another by the same writer in 1720, sung often and with strength and gladness by my mother and father together, around the piano, or riding in the car at night, or in the gatherings of the saints.  Almost three hundred years from its writing, how much more relevant than ever are the words!

"Am I a soldier of the cross,

A follower of the Lamb?

And shall I fear to own His cause

Or blush to speak His name?

Must I be carried to the skies 

On flowery beds of ease

While others fought to win the prize

Or sailed through bloody seas?

Are there no foes for me to face?

Must I not stem the flood?  

Is this vile world a friend to grace

To help me on to God?

Sure I must fight if I would reign,

Increase my courage, Lord,

I'll bear the toil, endure the pain

Supported by Thy word.

Thy saints in all this glorious war

Shall conquer tho' they die:

They view the triumph from afar

And seize it with their eye.

When that illustrious day shall rise

And all Thy armies shine

In robes of vict'ry through the skies

The glory shall be Thine."

Here in the Cleft of the Rock, I can see clearly, and I am seizing that far off triumph and anchoring my soul with it.  For the One who faced the terror of the cross and transformed it into the "wondrous cross" makes us more than conquerors in all these things, and at this very moment as He stands before the Father on our behalf, His Spirit infuses my weakness with His strength.

What a resting place! 

DEEP BREATH

...and here goes! a dip into a Whole New World, at least new to this keeper of the time-honored traditions of ink and pen!

I hereby dedicate these scripts to those who have purposed to live life with a tender heart, and who believe, as I do, that there is offered to us a spiritual mandate to guard within ourselves a sense of wonder and awe. "One thing have I desired; that will I seek; to behold the beauty of the Lord.." (King David). One Thing. I have found that one thing to be worth holding tightly, fighting back the forces in life that would reduce us to the mere mundane and snuff out the light of dreams. I want to look through eyes that see, that behold.

I believe in goodness. I believe in life. I believe in holiness, in purity, in the sacred. In kindness and gentleness, in love, in meekness, and in patience. I believe in beauty. And I believe in the immediate and the ultimate triumph of right.

I believe that we walk through a world that was created with love in every detail, and that we are surrounded by absolute Splendor.

At this moment the sun is rising, and I'm off to tiptoe through the morning light. I'll be back!

TREASURE HUNT

By now it is abundantly apparent that this broadcast tumbled completely out of the air just as it got off the ground!With several posts lined up like planes on a runway awaiting takeoff, we encountered a rather traumatic interruption, a sudden illness that landed David (and me at his side, of course) in critical care and then home on extended round-the-clock bed rest and recovery.  It was an intense and exhausting experience that we are extremely thankful to have behind us (as of today we have had four good days in a row!), and in time I know that we will have gained a fuller perspective of it in its entirety than we have now.  Yet even in the middle of it, and especially now coming out on the other side of this ordeal, there are so many more treasures added to our life-collection than I can do justice to at this present posting.  I hope to attempt to write more about this in the near future.

At the moment, however, instead of writing about the “missing month”, I would love to resume the “flow” that was interrupted at the point where it was dropped, picking up a sequel to “Eagerly Expecting” with my Easter basket in hand.

I decided to enumerate the findings of that day’s treasure hunt just because I like to translate vague generalities like “blessings” and “grace” into practical everyday definitions.  And so, would you like to hear what was in my basket by the end of the day I last posted?

**************

An unexpected phone call from someone very dear to me;

Our first two teeny eggs from the chickens David raised from hatchlings;

A scripture illumined and bringing rich nourishment to me;

A refreshing drenching rain, sustaining all the green of summer;

Two goldfinches “hanging out”, bouncing and playing for the longest time on the springy ends of our feathery willow branches like the most brilliantly happy blossoms!—something I’ve never seen in all my years of looking out my kitchen window as I cooked;

(My kitchen window over my sink and stove);

A crispy juicy watermelon, grown by someone’s labors a few hundred miles away, harvested by someone who probably worked hours in the summer heat, brought to my grocery store by drivers from other states, powered by fuel prepared by hundreds of people along the way on oil rigs and oil fields and oil refineries;

Forgiveness requested and granted from someone I love who I was guilty of misunderstanding;

A clean email Inbox;

The (re)discovery, in going through my way-way-backlogged inbox, of the many works of justice and righteousness being accomplished on the earth by faithful men and women—this added HEAPS to my basket: 

-reports  from a number of places in Israel of the growing community of friendship between Arab Christians and Messianic Israeli’s;

-another friend whose dream of a guest house in northern Israel has been fully realized;

-the unswerving unwavering purpose and zeal of a dear friend who lost his wife to cancer and is fighting his own battle with the disease, but is not missing a step in the outpouring of his life’s passion for the advancement of the kingdom of God;

-other individuals who could so easily choose bitterness but instead have taken hold of grace and intentional love and are living triumphant victorious lives;

 -a young mom who carries a heavy load as a mother, whose dear husband’s personality and career makes him other-focused; gaining strength, creative genius, and courage to overcome the division that her situation could create in her heart;

-a friend who has always wanted to be a dad but at fifty-something has not found a wife, so is living in an African orphanage rocking babies struggling for their lives;

-a young couple recently out of school who decided to launch a nonprofit for Iraqi families stranded in Syria, who started from scratch and are now actually accomplishing their dream of getting fresh fruits and vegetables to children and expectant mothers;

The stillness that comes with the end of the day;

And last but far from least, moonlight filtering through the canopy of leaves as I reviewed the treasures in my basket . . .

**************

Even as I write this I am so aware that I am failing to list at least a few hundred other things that constitute the miracle that is every day living, including the amazing refreshment of peaceful sleep. 

Good Night!

EAGERLY EXPECTING

"Do you want to hear something good?" asked my friend Gina the other day. "Sure," said I. "Well, here it is," she said, "a definition of hope. Hope is EAGERLY EXPECTING to see God's goodness."

Eagerly expecting! That sounds an awful lot to me like a treasure hunt, like being six on Easter morning with a basket in my hand and a green spring lawn before me. That sounds like a new mother with the nursery prepared and a few weeks left to wait; like a four year old the night before his birthday.

That sounds like David the psalmist when he wrote and sang, "As for me, I SHALL behold Your face in righteousness", and "I have set the Lord CONTINUALLY before me", and "weeping may endure for a night but JOY COMES in the morning"!

It sounds like Job when he said, "But as for me, I KNOW that my Redeemer lives, and at the last He will takes His stand on the earth...Yet from my flesh I SHALL see God; whom I myself SHALL behold, and whom my eyes SHALL see..." (19:25-27)

Or like Moses, or Joshua, or Isaiah and all the other prophets, like Daniel who in his terrifying vision "kept looking" and "kept looking" and "kept looking" until he finally saw what he had been looking for, the Glorious Victorious One seated on His throne; like Paul who said there is nothing in all of life or death or all creation that can separate us from the love of God; like John who saw the great Omega, the Expected One, sweep in the grand finale to all of earth's history.

Or like Betsy ten Boom in a German prison camp, lifting her eyes above the degradation to watch the unfettered flight of a bird across the open sky.

Eagerly expecting. Like the Expected One Himself, who before the darkest night of His existence told us when we see all kinds of havoc and chaos and cause for fear to Lift Up Our Heads--LIFT UP OUR HEADS, y'all, not hide under a blanket; to LOOK UP because our redemption is approaching!

I have difficulty knowing which of all my favorite poems is my ultimate favorite, but this one by Amy Carmichael may quite possibly be it:

"Do we not hear Thy footfall, O Beloved,
Among the stars on many a moonless night?
Do we not catch the whisper of Thy coming
On winds of dawn, and often in the light
Of noontide and of sunset almost see Thee?
Look up through shining air
And long to see Thee, O Beloved, long to see Thee?
And wonder that Thou art not standing there?

And we shall hear Thy footfall, O Beloved,
And starry ways will open, and the night
Will call her candles from their distant stations,
And winds shall sing Thee, noon and mingled light
Of rose-red evening, thrill with lovely welcome;
And we, caught up in air
Shall see Thee, O Beloved, we shall see Thee,
In hush of adoration see Thee there."

Until that greatest of all days, if I am watching, if my heart is paying attention, I know that by the end of today I will have my basket full; that I will have sweetnesses and goodnesses and lovingkindnesses to savor when I put my head on my pillow tonight!

Happy Every Day, peeking around and under and between, living life on tiptoe!

LOOKING AND SEEING

"Blessed are your eyes because they see ...", said Jesus to those who were gathered around him after one of His parables. Those same ears had also just heard Him describing the condition of many:

"While seeing they do not see, and while hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. And in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is being fulfilled, which says, 'You will keep on hearing, but will not understand; And you will keep on seeing, but will not perceive; For the heart of this people has become dull, And with their ears they scarcely hear, And they have closed their eyes, lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, And understand with their heart and return, And I should heal them.'" Matthew 13:13-16

Very, very sobering words!

I pondered the amazing life of Jesus, lived purely and for others, abounding with supernatural works, foretold and anticipated for centuries by the ancient prophets. I became aware in a new way that all the people who followed Him around saw the same miracles, heard the same words, and yet came away with different responses. His works could not be dismissed, but there were those who when they saw them, worshipped God and were filled with joy and renewed life, while others could only attribute His power to the devil. No matter that He did only good, loved the laws of God and knew the scriptures more intimately than any they had ever known. They were as oblivious as a stone being offered a rose.

I prayed then, as I have prayed many times since then, "Don't let my heart become dull! Let my eyes be eyes that see, and my ears inclined toward You in such a way that I can hear."


The preceding parable in Matthew is one familiar to us, of the seed sown into four types of soil: hardened ground, shallow ground, better ground but where weeds choked out the fruit, and "good soil" that eventually yielded a rich harvest.

I am writing about this whole idea of seeing but not seeing because I have come to believe that it is only with intentionality--actually, courageous determination-- that we will make it through the gauntlet of not only the wearying normal cares and pressures of life, but the debilitating materialism of our culture, the frenetic pace that we attempt, and the superficial externality of our world, without our hearts becoming dull, and the precious seeds of life sown well and received, eventually "choked out" as in the parable. The Lord, in Jeremiah 2:5, described His precious ones as having walked after emptiness and having become empty themselves.

Dr. Luke, in describing Paul's experience that so revolutionized his world, described literal scales falling off his eyes when he received prayer for recovery of his sight, in keeping with the internal work that had been going on in his heart for days. We observe Paul so valuing this capacity to truly see that we find it part of his language from then on:

"darkened hearts" Romans 1:21; "blinded minds, unable to see the glory of Christ" II Cor.4:4; "...a veil lies over their heart..." II Cor. 3:15; "the One who has shone in our hearts" II Cor:4:6; "But whenever a man turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. ... we all, with unveiled face beholding the glory of the Lord..." II Cor. 3:16,18

And of course from his profound prayer recorded in the Ephesian letter: "I ... do not cease [to pray] that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of ... revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe..." 1:16-19

Jesus charged His loved ones at Laodicea (Rev. 3:18) to anoint their eyes with eye salve, so they could see once again! How we need to come to Him more than once or twice for eye salve in our earthly journey!

All this to say that this blog is not about hugging trees and getting a stiff neck taking in the night sky. It is about having hearts that stay so tender that the handiwork of our God, in the spirit and in the natural world around us, in the depth of His word and in the intimacy of His presence, never ceases to take our breath away. It is about finding delight at the most demanding moments in the shimmering translucence of the leaves created by the One we love, or the summer clouds amassed over the gridlock when we lift up our eyes, or His Spirit stirring life in our hearts.

Over a million people left Egypt in an unprecedented, historically massive escape from slavery. Yet all that the majority of them ended up seeing was endlessly looming hardship, while Moses sang,

"Who is like You, majestic in holiness, Awesome in praises, working wonders? In Your lovingkindness You have led the people whom You have redeemed; In Your strength You have guided them to Your holy habitation."

And at the end of his life: "There is none like the God of [Israel], Who rides the heavens to your help, And through the skies in His majesty. The eternal God is a dwelling place, And underneath are the everlasting arms." ! Exodus 15:11,13; Deut. 33:26,27

"Keep yourselves in the love of God", wrote Jude. "I have inclined my heart," wrote the psalmist, "...forever, even to the end." "My soul keeps" (cherishes, savors) "Thy testimonies, and I love them exceedingly." Psalm 119:112,167 "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for out of it flow the springs of life." Proverbs 4:23

And Jesus charged His friends to remember at the worst of times to "lift up [their] heads" and to "look up".

That is the real longing of my heart; to not gain the world at the expense of my soul, my personhood created by my Creator; to not lose my way in the tedium and the minutia of the tyranny of the urgent, or in the momentum of impending doom, and forget to look up and to truly see. In seeing, there is refreshment, restoration of soul, the quickening of our hearts to be transcendentally loved, and to love in return.

"The heavens are telling of the glory of God;
Their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.
Day to day pours forth speech," (are we listening?!)
"And night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words;
Their voice is not heard.
[But] their sound has gone out through all the earth,
And their utterances to the end of the world."
from Psalm 19

We are surrounded, above, around, beneath, and in our own hearts, with the signs of His goodness and glory.

"Blessed are the pure" (uncluttered, uncorrupted) "in heart, for they shall see God."
(From our own Beloved, Matthew 5:8)

NEW YEAR'S PEACE

The banks are breaking; the oceans are rising; there are several wars going on; and the sun is shining from a magnificently blue sky.

Blessed are You, O Lord God, Maker of heaven and earth, in Whose love and unshaken strength we live and move and have our being. How our everydays are calmed in the great everlastingness of You!

Today, in the midst of so much breaking and crashing around us, You call me to lift up my eyes, for You are my glory and the lifter of my head. My meagerness is enriched in Your endless grandeur, in the scope of Your heavens, in the beauty and order of Your infinitesimal details.

By Your very being, You exalt the lowly; You exalt me.

Today, the first day of the first 2009 AD in the history of our world, I rest in You, and gaze with wonder on Your splendor.

PERSONAL NOTE

Obviously months have passed since the first post on this blog, months in which "the beauty of the Lord" has brightened more moments than I could possibly describe: in the faces of newborn infants, in the impartation of strong hope, fresh vision, and new strength, in the revelation given at the homegoing of a dear friend, in the indescribable golden stillness of evening. Yet I find myself at a loss when I try to capture these beauties with words.

So the following posts will contain, for the most part, excerpts of writings (some of them from favorite authors or poets) that have comprised some of the countless graces that from the past right up to the present have quickened my heart because someone has succeeded in capturing with words glimpses of what I also know of "the splendor of the King".

For the most part I would like to let each of these stand on their own, without comment from me, with the hope that they will refresh you and point you also heavenward!

"TOO HIGH FOR ME"
by Amy Carmichael

"I have no word,
But neither hath the bird,
And it is heard;
My heart is singing, singing all day long,
In quiet joy to Thee who art my Song.

For as Thy majesty,
So is Thy mercy,
So is Thy mercy,
My Lord and My God.

How intimate
Thy ways with those who wait
About Thy gates;
But who could show the fashion of such ways
In human words, and hymn them to Thy praise?

Too high for me,
Far shining mystery,
Too high to see;
But not too high to know, though out of reach
Of words to sing its gladness into speech."

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

"Every experience of beauty points to infinity."
Hans Urs von Balthasar

" 'Monseigneur, you are always eager to make everything useful, yet here is a useless plot. It would be much better to have salads there than bouquets.' 'Madame Magloire,' the bishop replied, 'you are mistaken. The beautiful is as useful as the useful.' He added after a moment's pause 'Perhaps more so.'" From Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo


"Yet [the day] was not complete if cold or rainy weather prevented him from passing an hour or two in the evening,...in his garden before going to sleep. It seemed as though it were a sort of rite with him, to prepare himself for sleep by meditating in the presence of the great spectacle of the starry firmament. Sometimes late at night, if [the others] were awake, they would hear him slowly walking the paths. He was out there alone with himself, composed, tranquil, adoring, comparing the serenity of his heart with the serenity of the skies, moved in the darkness by the visible splendors of the constellations and the invisible splendor of God, opening his soul to the thoughts that fall from the Unknown. In such moments, offering up his heart at the hour when the flowers of night emit their perfume, lit like a lamp in the center of the starry night, expanding in ecstasy in the midst of creation's universal radiance, perhaps he could not have told what was happening in his own mind; he felt something floating away from him, and something descending upon him; mysterious exchanges of the soul with the universe.

He contemplated the grandeur, and the presence of God; the eternity of the future, that strange mystery; the eternity of the past, a stranger mystery; all the infinities hidden deep in every direction; and, without trying to comprehend the incomprehensible, he saw it. He did not study God; he was dazzled by Him. He reflected on the magnificent union of atoms, which give visible forms to Nature, revealing forces by recognizing them, creating individualities in unity, proportions in extension, the innumerable in the infinite, and through light producing beauty...

He would sit on a wooden bench leaning against a decrepit trellis and look at the stars through the irregular outlines of his fruit trees. This quarter of an acre of ground, so sparingly planted, so cluttered with shed and ruins, was dear to him and satisfied him.

What more was needed by this old man, who divided the leisure hours of his day, where he had so little leisure, between gardening in the daytime and contemplation at night? Was this narrow enclosure with the sky for a background not space enough for him to adore God in his most beautiful, most sublime works? Indeed, is that not everything? What more do you need? A little garden to walk in, and immensity to reflect on. At his feet something to cultivate and gather; above his head something to study and meditate on; a few flowers on earth and all the stars in heaven."

--Ibid